My kids are danger magnets. I swear they are! Lauren keeps injuring herself; Amber keeps getting attacked by nature and Holli…. Well, she’s just a hurricane of drama. This past month alone I feel like I’m teetering on the brink of disaster. From the husband’s impending layoff (and the date that changes weekly) to the kids and their “issues” to drama at work and my own health difficulties… there are times I wonder if I’ll have any sanity left by the end of the year or not.
Let’s start with Holli. She’s seven now, but sometimes she comes across as three and sometimes she acts like she’s 15. The other day she wanted to know why she only got one piece of miniature chocolate and I took 2 pieces. I said, “Because I’m older than you.” She put her hands on her hips and replied, “Do you really need that second piece? It’s just gonna make you fat.” Then an hour later she was throwing a major tantrum because I said no more television that night. Throwing herself on the floor, screaming, kicking, hitting… I just want to go to my own room, lock the door and never come out again. Developmentally, I just don’t see a lot of progress. Academically, she’s doing great, socially- not so much. I worry about her a lot. So much so, we’re taking her to a developmental specialist.
Lauren seems to be slightly danger prone. She’s injured her fingers, her toes, her knees, her head… She’s had her arm wedged in a drawer, she’s been tangled up her in tricycle, she’s fallen off playground equipment and furniture. If she’s not careful she’s going to end up in a full bodycast before she hits puberty. She’s just rambunctious and I know that eventually (at least I hope so) that she’ll develop a more cautious side as she grows up – I just hope it’s sooner rather than later.
And Amber… this poor girl keeps getting attacked by wildlife. The biggest and most dramatic was the whole camel incident and now just this week: yellowjackets.
Earlier this week, while the weather is still nice, the kids took a walk and somehow either got too close to a ground nest or the yellowjackets had been disturbed by someone before them, but a small swarm came after the kids. Amber got stung on the pinky finger and Holli ended up with stings on her back. In fact, we took her shirt off in the house to treat the stings and discovered two yellowjackets were still up the back of her shirt. Now, they were loose in the house.
One was caught almost right away and trapped, ironically enough, in a honeyjar. I spent the rest of the night armed with a Swiffer broom, ready to pounce the second I found it. Of course, while I was looking, Holli offered helpfully, “It’s black and yellow striped.” Umm… thanks.
My husband found it the next morning getting drunk off of Coke & Diet Coke cans in the recycling bag. He said it was fat and lethargic. Well, that’s what you get for sucking down surgery sodapop all night long.
Another story I have to share from this summer: Back in June, I’m in the house doing laundry because I’ve got someone telling me they have no more underwear… and Lauren comes running in from outside and she says, “Amber stuck.” I go, “Amber stuck. Amber stuck where?” “Amber stuck behind gate.”
We have no gate.
I’m running outside making Lauren show me exactly where Amber is. Apparently she went next door while the neighbors are gone and somehow managed to open their gate to the backyard. Then she went into the backyard and closed the gate thereby locking her inside. She is SOOOOOOOO lucky their big barking dog is penned on the back porch. Had he been free in the backyard Amber could have been SO hurt.
I am furious. Partly at Amber for going over there and partly at me for not watching more carefully. So no more house cleaning for me if the kids are outside. Either that, or I’m tagging them with bells so I can hear where they are at every moment of the day.
And finally, something overheard at our house: “EEEEEEEWWWWW! That is not a pet!” My comment upon discovering Lauren and Amber petting a dead baby mole in the front yard.
